One of the funniest chats we've had in awhile happened spontaneously on a Friday afternoon. Taking off on the Jeff Foxworthy "you might be a redneck, if..." jokes,
our chatters came up with a list of "you might be a Cheers chatter, if..." jokes of their own.
You might be a Cheers chatter if...
Mister: if your cat walks across your keyboard, and it looks as if pop posted something....
Lisa: if you wake up and start your computer to chat before you start the coffee pot and brush your teeth...
Mathguy: if you think a Blue Ribbon Panel is a discussion about Pabst beer...
AFBlue: if you laugh at your wife's joke by saying lolololol instead of hahahahahaha...
NTexas: if you remember Math Baby's name (Connor) and not your own kid's name...
Mister: if you sign official correspondence with ttfn...
Mathguy: if you tell your friends that you're wearing a potato sack and the chat pervs pop up that it's sexy...
Beau: if you type with a sledge hammer instead of your fingers...
Gary-NJ: if your PC chair is a "PortaPotty"...
Genie: if you sign your name to your kids progress reports and add a :) out beside the comments...
Lisa: if you laugh hysterically in the grocery store when you see the shelf that has Fleet on it...
AFBlue: if your wife asks if you want Chips and you tell her he is in California...
NTexas: if you have several monitors with fist holes in them...
Beau: if you make your sentences with fwiw, ttfn, bbiab...
Lisa: if you have keyboard key indentations on your forehead...
Gary-NJ: if.............Viagra won't work......... but Political chat does...
Mister: if you greet people on the street with "Bush/Kerry sucks"...
Genie: if someone uses the word 'nightmare' and you automatically think mare's leaving and start to say goodbye...
Donna: if you keep your blood pressure medicine on your desk for chat...
Mathguy: if you think of Chas every time you see a tricycle...
Gary-NJ: if you watch Cops and translate Assault and Battery to.......FWAP...
Lisa: if you think cattle prods just ain't for cattle anymore...
NTexas: if you see a broken down Dodge and think of Chas...
Mister: if someone introduces themselves, and you say "is it possible, that I know you from a different nick?"...
AFBlue: if you watch Jeopardy and ask where Norm is...
Mathguy: if you ask for a credible source or a link when someone says that it's raining outside...
Genie: if you've ever tried to right click your kids or spouse to put them on ignore...
Mister: if you give a Cheers host's name as a reference during a job interview...
BlackMale: if you speak fluent dyslexic...
Mathguy: if you think a picture of Beau in a bikini would solve the crisis in the middle east...you might be a Cheers...nevermind...that's you might be Mathguy!
Lisa: if you have an extreme urge to cut paste and post partisan quips...
NTexas: if you can read pop's or Tom's or NT's posts and understand them, despite the typos...
Mathguy: if you think talking about boobs is actually a relief and you're a straight FEMALE.... you might be a Cheers chatter chick!
Genie: if you've ever woken up in a cold sweat arguing with the dream scroll...
Mister: if your boss tells you to do something, and you tell him you're "afk"...
NTexas: if you hear the word pervert, and think of Mathy...
Beau: if you are watching tv...and you think you see a whisper come on the screen...
Genie: (just for Mister) if your wife's water breaks and you HAVE to go tell the chatroom first before you can go to the hospital...
CC: if you force your children to wear green glasses, so you can take a break...
Lisa: if you know what MIWLTHSWinator means...
AFBlue: if your spouse thinks you have computer induced Tourette's Syndrome...
Sofaman: if your wife wants to have you certified because you laugh at your computer monitor...
Donna: if BM is no longer a bodily function...
Mathguy: if talking to your friends has resulted in carpal tunnel...
Lisa: if you know more about metrosexuals and trisexuals than the average Joe...
Beau: if you are in a bar...and hold up a invisible glass waiting for a invisible drink...
Destiny: if you quote people that your family thinks are your imaginary friends...
Lisa: if you have an opinion, any opinion, and will chat to the death about that opinion and beat a dead horse...
CC: if you disconnect your phone after 4 phone calls...
Mathguy: if you think "double Helix" means a chatter is logged in twice...
Beau: if you go to a toga party, without an actual toga...
NTexas: if you blame everthing on the POTUS of the opposite party...
Mister: if you refer to your friends as mathguy, sofadude, AFBlueGoon, Destiny, CC...
CC: if you tell your spouse about your day with sofa, TeamCar, AFBlueLeGoon, Garfield_4_POTUS, OtistheDrunk, iloveburritos, and various and sundry others...
Lisa: if you know more about Xanax, viagra, Cialis, and all the other sexual enhancement drugs than your local pharmacist...
sofaman: if you tell your employees to "leave me alone already, I'm chatting"...
Genie: worse...if you give your kids five bucks to go away and let you chat in peace...
Lisa: if you know the names of every presidential cabinet member and their indiscretions since [insert date]...
CC: if you know all the tribes of all the ME countries...
Mathguy: if you know what the five second rule is...
Genie: (for Destiny) if you're having an affair with the trivia bot...
Mister: if you have ever taken a date to Walmart for the hotdogs...
Beau: if you can name all the Bin Ladens...
Destiny: if you live in fear of the word "banned"...
AFBlue: if you look in the offering plate on Sunday morning and ask where's the WMD's...
NTexas: if you pay the internet bill before the food bill...
Superman: if you get all sweaty when Chas messes up the server...
CC: if you can quote the news from every anchor and spinmeister...
Donna: if you panic during a thunderstorm for fear the power will go out...
Lisa: if you can't get into Cheers and start up every instant messenger to see whats wrong with the server...
iloveburritos: if you think the stoplight on the corner is politically biased...
Donna: if you see a hamster cage and think of Chas...
Mathguy: if you hear a person IRL say "I have a date with destiny" and you say to yourself "Lucky bastard!"...
Lisa: if you know where the hell Dublin GA is...
CC: if you live outside California, and you know where Fallbrook and Victorville are...
Superman: if the back of your pants says "insert boot here"...
iloveburritos: if you have to scroll to catch up on current events...
Superman: if you think of something during the day and say 'Oh, I cant wait to bring that up in chat"...
CC: if you know what a Ducati is...
Mathguy: if you've ever had to explain to your wife who Lisa is when you saw a Ducati and said "That's what Lisa wants"...
Beau: if your other half hears you whispering "where is that damn ignore key"...
Genie: if you know what bedeezers are...
Sofaman: if you've ever been asked by your spouse "are you working or chatting"...
Chips: if you abandon the family for days at a time just to chat...
Mister: if you know what a FWAP is...
Mathguy: if you hear a blonde joke and think of DB...
NTexas: if the boss tells you something, and you reply "link please"...
Chips: if the neighbors say to your spouse, "When did your spouse pass away?"...
Genie: if your spouse has ever had to dust you...
Mathguy: if you go into an antique store and say "None of this stuff is old as Chips"...
Lisa: if you see a poll in the paper or online and wanna puke...
Sofaman: if you've ever told your kids to "knock it off or I'll fwap you"...
Genie: if you've ever reformatted your computer and you had to install chat first....so the twitching would stop...
Lisa: if you think BlackMale invented schnizzle talk...
NTexas: if your backup computer has chat installed...
CC: if you know there's a Crystal Palace in Bakersfield...
Sofaman: if you've ever gone to work and said "I really have to get this done before I chat......maybe just a few minutes"...
Mathguy: if someone uses the word "fudge" and you tell them not to mask the F word...
Lisa: if you get hungry and think of Gary...
Destiny: if you plan your vacation so that you can take your laptop so you can chat...
AFBlue: if you change the vertical hold on your T.V. so it continuously scrolls...
Lisa: if you know that Sam, Otis and Norm are the same person...
NTexas: if you can follow five conversations at once...
Lisa: if you hear the TADA wav and think of Tom...
AFBlue: if you and your friends are playing Cheers trivia and one of your answers is Chips instead of Sam Malone...
And the last one for the hosts....
Genie: you might be a Cheers host if beside your computer sits an 1000 tablet bottle of excedrin, a fifth and a dartboard with a screenshot of the chatroom in the bullseye. :)